I Like This

Show up.

Pay attention.

Do or say what is needed.

Be informed by the outcome rather than attached to it.

Intention

Lately I’ve become more aware of the word, Intention. Actually, I owe this awareness to Galen Fous, author of, “Decoding Your Kink”, and a blog post he wrote about 7 years ago (found here). 

He explains how important having an intention is, and how he uses this intention in life, not just kink. Fous writes…

“Intention is a very important tool. I view it as rock solid truth. It is my anchor I come back to when I get blown off course. I know it is true…because I created it from an aware place.”

And he writes…

“Intention allows one to build personally designed practices or rituals that support your intention and diminish what resists your intention.”

Hmmmm. Worth looking into this I think.

I started consulting the ethereal Oz (google) for more on this whole concept. One that I feel like I have ignored my whole life. Started running into life hacks and life coaches giving these hacks… meh!

But I do like this idea of forming an intention. Something I can call on every day.

 

Zen Teachings

Even before Covid-19 I’ve been a heavy consumer of podcasts about Zen. Anyone who has struggled with finding a great (consistent) Soto Zen podcast will enjoy listening to Koun Franz’s approach to life and practice.

Thousand Harbors Zen is located in Nova Scotia. And while I find myself sometimes wishing he and his family would move closer to the Pacific time zone in North America, I feel fortunate that I can hear his teachings through Podomatic (I know, never heard of it either…) 

Give him a listen: Koun Franz - Part 1 of Eight Awakenings

Undeniably Aging

A little over ten years ago I quit drinking and started taking care of myself. The result of all of this, the process, was like being reborn in a way that’s hard for me to describe.  And yet I’ll try.

All the various filters or lenses that allow one to take in the world, the five senses (six really), eventually are flushed and cleared of all the accumulated toxicity. For me it was decades worth. The results felt like going back in time to that version of myself that didn’t need a cocktail or sketchy food to deal with the world. 

Maybe rebirth would be stretching things a bit. Not necessarily a new babe, or the young boy, but most definitely the teenager.

So in my middle forties I felt young again. I was moving and active and intensely determined to blow right past all of those road signs of life which were telling me, ‘Aging Rest Stop Ahead’. Not for me!

But this last year I’ve been, at times, made painfully aware that I need to pull over more often. My still sober (clear and clean) 50’s body isn’t same as the 40’s model.

I was a pretty good athlete in my younger days. I could play just about anything reasonably well. Certain things I was very good at and I suppose tennis was one of those things. About five years ago I started playing again on a regular basis. In the last year I’ve started suffering from little muscle and tendon “nicks”. Waking up to aches and pains the day after playing has somehow become normal. 

Fuuuuuuuuuck!

So I’ve started stretching every morning. It feels like my last line of defense. That’s what I see it as but, I’m pretty sure, that’s not what an enlightened being would think.

Age, sickness, and death… undeniable. 

The Root of My Happiness…

About three years ago I worked up the nerve to attend a three day sesshin in the city and state where I grew up. It was a long trip that required air travel so not a small thing. I was combining a visit my parents as well.

On the morning of my first day of sesshin I was anticipating, and dreading, breakfast. I recall being hungry but that my appetite was tamped down a bit by the fear of fumbling through my first attempt at Oryoki.

After gaining a foothold on the ritual, with my food carefully served into my three bowls, an unexpected chant broke out and startled me.

Innumerable labors have brought us this food;

We should know how it comes to us.

As we receive this offering, we should consider

Whether our virtue and practice deserve it…

It goes on about taking what has been served in our bowls is for attaining and accomplishing the Buddha Way. We chanted this and other declarations of our commitment during, and after, every meal.

I didn’t realize until I was back at my own table that I had brought this part of the chant home with me. One morning, not long after my return home, I had prepared some scrambled eggs and toast. I looked at my plate and realized that innumerable labors made it possible.

This was the moment when I felt real, pure gratitude. I’m not sure if this makes sense but it’s the closest feeling to love I’ve ever experienced. Like love, it was an actual sensation.

It was over this plate of food that I realized my true happiness is gratitude for what I have. For everything I have.

It took me over fifty years. I think there is a reason for that and maybe I’ll go into it on another post.

Knowing

My observation has been that when people (myself included here) talk in the theoretical, it doesn't take much, perhaps a question or probing comment from someone, before the theory becomes a belief to defend.

Some things we can't know for certain. Fear of that leads us to grasp and declare. I think Shunryu Suzuki said/wrote this.

We all must face the fear that most of this world is unknowable.

This practice is hard work.

Life in the present exists in this activity.

I have read so many books and listened to so many podcasts on Zen that I can't recall which wise person wrote/said this...

"Life in the present exists in this activity."

Everything we do is an opportunity to practice.

I aspire to get better at remembering this...